Life and Death Lessons, Your Truth Lies Within

May 01, 2023

The universe will always give you the cosmic breadcrumbs for you to follow if you are paying attention. 

This past week, I reached out to a Toltec sister to do some clearings with me as she was in my neck of the woods. Coincidence? I think not. 

Yet, I was still at choice, whether I accepted to dive deep and do the work within and choose to trust another female teacher. This has not gone well for me in the past...this was a big ask for myself. 

It was a week of 4 separate healings, 2 online, 2 in person.  I have never slept and dreamt like I have over this last week. 

The thing about energy work and dreaming with another human, is that every experience is different. We all house different vibrations and we all access various sources of light. 

Why did I choose this specific human, this one that I knew existed on the periphery of my consciousness?  

In complete honesty, I have been stalking her for 3 years as she drafted into my storyline in one of the darkest parts of my journey while dreaming with the Ruiz’s, specifically Jose. I knew our time would come when it was supposed to and I would get the hit, and it would be go time. 

I needed a woman. I needed Grama’s energy. I needed physical, hands-on healing.  

The work that I have done with the Eagle Knight Lineage of Toltec wisdom with the Ruiz’s is great to heal your mind and the addiction to suffering. However, the place I am at now required ritual.  

I was crying for Grama energy, the divine feminine in physical form. Was this one safe to work with? 

You see, I have been dreaming with Madre Sarita for years. To the point of questioning my sanity. Challenged by many, challenging and subjugating my gifts, challenging and subjugating myself in the process.  

They were supposed to be teaching me, of course I’m going to listen. And yet on the other hand, I was listening to other teachers who birthed medicine from their own experiences in this lineage,

“Be Skeptical, but Learn to Listen,” The Fifth Agreement by don Jose Ruiz. 

Ooohhh...juicy stuff. 

Those Master Shamans and their bags of tricks. 

Beware. Not all of them play with the light. Not all of them walk their talk. 

As I experienced a full-on exorcism of dark spells placed upon my soul, wretched jealousy sent back to where it came from, Willow White Wolf howled into the fire.  

Rebirthed into a new dimension of fierce.  

As our ceremony came to a close, a bee landed on my arm, I hear the vibratory breath at the side of my ear, “you have been blessed with bee medicine”.  

I was reminded in that moment of a conversation with a Toltec brother on June 2, 2018, as bee medicine downloaded for me and wanted to be shared with him... 

“After receiving your permission, I asked "what does he need in this moment?" This is what came in...word for word, no editing. 

There were all these comb shaped beds filled with honey…. using the hive visual to explain the matrix…we are now able to join up on a binary thread to do work together in the digital realm. 

He is ready for his upgrades…opening the crown, coating the adrenal glands with pink yogurt like substance, calming the nerves…coating is going all the way down to his feet. Complete layer done. Bubbling him up in an egg like form, shaving the hairs off his egg.  

He has connected into the digital matrix, the hive mentality, Metatron is with him doing his upgrades. High priestess is with him as well, clearing out his grief, draining black out the bottom of his feet as the pink substance settles in the bottom of his feet, creating a Band-Aid like cover too allow the clear out to heal.  

It's time to rest…integrate the new energies, look up bee medicine…there are big answers to your internal questions. Metatron has called for you to step forward. Call him in and ask what your next mission is. You are shifting people through sacred geometry…call in Bee medicine when you do your art.  

There is language in the sacred geometry that people on this planet need right now. You are a grid keeper…being asked to accept your next assignment. Archangel Metatron has stepped in to be one of your guides at this time." 

His response:

"Firstly, I want to say that it's a beautiful thing to have stepped outside your 'circle' and taken the move- however daunting it might or might not have seemed. Standing in the energies and multidimensional constructs that abide within the high priestess certainly suits you. 

Secondly, I want to affirm your 'hit' as you called it. The bees being of multidimensional (also Pleiadean in regard to the origins of humans as well- as the Mexica and Toltecs describe in the Mayan and Aztec calendars) origin play well with the Nahual, you certainly have described a general outline of a specific energetics that I have been dreaming with for quite a long time. Metatron is a surprise addition though, as until now that particular Enochian expression has been mostly silent, standing in the background so to speak.  

A lot of what you interpreted also has come to pass in the sense of the 'timelessness' factor... a sort of overlapping of events from multiple times and places that re assert themselves until the miasm is eliminated. The nature of your openness to interacts with me is the key point for both of us.  

Energy shared between us is the honey that is healing the beings of this world and you have done a great leap with me in that regard. I will keep it all, as I'm sure the bits that aren't resonating with my human, or rather... is not yet in the vibrational window of access, might come in handy in the 'future' Haha. Time is SO silly! Don't you think?  

Love to you Angela, and all your beloveds as well. Hopefully, we shall be dreaming with one another again soon! Chats in the physical are stellar too! Rock on! 

Oh, and if you ever need anything - always ask...  

Thank Goddess, you messaged me... it's given me some insight as to a few things that have been eluding me as well... 'the mission' part."  

"I feel this is big for both of have confirmation on things I see/hear/feel brings tears to my eyes and is clearing agreements our for myself as well. This work is scary and difficult and most times I'm going in with just my intuition." I replied. 

"By the way your assemblage point is way off its habitual position,  

you know that though, right? LOL DONT let it go habitual!! Haha!!!"

"Oh....I don't know what that is!"

"Um- it's an individual's energetic point of attention, its why we perceive things the way we do, the habitual position is an agreement so that we all can experience this complex reality with some sort of cohesion. Of course, we're trained to do that. Usually, it just bops around until we are fully socialized.  

It's a Toltec concept. 

You may be an apprentice but always know that you are always and always will be..  

the Nahual."


PTSD is a thing, and it took me years to go back to this conversation and understand the gravity of it. 

What I didn’t know at that moment was that I was remarkably close to death’s door.  

A bacterial infection had ravaged my insides and I was in the 10th percentile of humans that weren’t dead or hospitalized for having it in their system that long....months. 

Of course, my assemblage point was WAY OFF. 

When I discovered the news, I thought back to this conversation and had the deadly realization, that the conversation we had that night, I was literally holding hands with the Angel of Death. 

2 weeks after this conversation, I received medical attention and medicine. Health Canada and the medical staff serving me kept asking me over and over, “how are you alive?” 

Energy work, Breathwork, Meditation, connection to the Divine. 

I lost 70 pounds, and it took my intestines over a year to get back to normalcy.  

I am now, forever changed as a soul having a human experience. 

Thank you, Rebecca, for assisting my re-connection and removing dark magic from my being. 

Thank you, Mama Sarita, Mama Gaia, for sending me Bee medicine, as physical confirmation for my mission on this planet.  

Reminding humanity, we are a collective, we are a community and it’s time to stop the bullshit and work together. 

As we dance in this Beltane fire within,  

I call back all my energy taken and given with no reciprocity.  

I call back all my soul fragments left in different timelines, and dimensions. 

I stand whole, anchored in truth, led by my heart and protected by my feral wolf within. 

Welcome home Willow White Wolf. 

The energy we wield, the magic we contain is for humanity’s highest good.  

It is to be used responsibly and with integrity only.  

And so it is. 



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