Re-Writing Story-lines With Samantha Rohrer

Samantha returns to discuss her life a year after school, and what led her decisions to leave that space in her life. With incredible pressures placed on us we can often feel like have no choice but to continue down a path we've set ourselves on, even at the expense of our joy. Taking a look inward and deciding that "Hey, this isn't right for me" takes incredible strength and should be celebrated. We are only here once, we should not be spending what time we have committing to beliefs that do not serve us. It's never too late to decide what's right for you and re-write your own story-line for your personal betterment, and we'll be right here to guide and support you.

All our gratitude and love.

Our new book "Bytes of Light: Evolving Leadership for the Spiritual Entrepreneur" is available on Amazon! You can acquire it here: https://www.amazon.com/Bytes-Light-Leadership-Spiritual-Entrepreneur/dp/1961493071/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

0:00 - Intro

0:29 - Diving into it

1:00 - Last Year vs. Now

4:00 Generational growth

10:29 - Self Discovery

14:38 - There's no "One Path" for success

18:30 - Celebrate your Discovery

24:00 - What does your heart crave?

27:00 - Celebrate "Recovery"

34:45 - There's no trophy for mastering "Suffering"

38:40 - Outro

Website: https://RohrerRevolution.com/

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Episode Transcript

Welcome to Bytes of Light with Angel and Seth Rohrer we provide bite-sized nuggets of wisdom to feed your soul expand your awareness and free your mind to help you create more beautiful today and a brighter tomorrow join us in our magical kitchen as we serve up another high Vibe snack for your

soul welcome to Bytes of Light snacks for your soul and I'm so excited to have Samantha back here we are season 2 and you know on this podcast we really love to talk about shaking up agreements and really owning your story-line and you know creating the dream of your life and Samantha you've you you've had some excitement this year yeah a lot and it's only what halfway through March exactly so I think it was was it was last December yeah a little over a year ago little over a year ago and you know for those who haven't heard Samantha's first episode go check it out and we're continuing Samantha's story-line in this one so why don't you tell us where we were give us a where you were give us a quick recap and where you are now yeah so a year ago I was on my first winter break of college finished my first semester coming home reflecting on that the big shifts that come with that and now I am no longer in college I decided to step away and so now I'm back living at home a place I did not think I would be at you know 20 years old and so yeah things things are not where they where I had originally thought they would be for sure yeah and when we start creating story-lines and what we want our life to look at sometimes when we get into that story line we go oh wait a minute this is not exactly how I thought it was going to be yeah right and it takes courage to step into that so what where did you start seeing that some some of the story-line wasn't going the way you were hoping it would go it's so interesting because the second from like all of school it's basically taught that you're going from high school to college especially for somebody like me who graduated high school with honors and was super involved in so many clubs and everything and so it just the natural progression is you go to college next and the first year of college was very hard for me and I couldn't quite get into a Groove that felt natural it felt very forced and part of that was that I was working two jobs working more than full-time trying to do school trying to be involved and this last fall push pushing myself that much made me get very very physically ill and that made me kind of take a step back and look at things and see how I felt about things from a very weak and vulnerable perspective and it can be very hard like you said to reanalyze our story lines and to decide whether or not we want to continue especially once you've put so much time and effort into something to walk away with that before you see the end of it before you reap those rewards can be very challenging but I just realized that I wasn't studying what I wanted to study I wasn't setting myself up for a future where I could experience the happiness that I wanted and so why spend another year and a half paying for something that ultimately isn't going to give me the joy that I want in life and that realization for me was what made me kind of decide to just you know what it's not worth it I'm out yeah because sometimes when people make these decisions they will stick it out even when they feel tortured inside yeah and I think too that like it's such a generational thing that right my generation was taught you have college just like the generations before us and I think there's a lot of I'm sensing a lot of push back for my generation on that and people who are going to college and realizing this is not what I want and leaving or people who just aren't going altogether and finding those different paths there's a lot more of that seeking what truly makes us happy and not just what we think we should want to do you know what what we genuinely want not just what people are telling us we should want well and I think you just nailed it with the the the telling us what we should want like there there was so much power in that statement because being told is programming right and the should is then well if you don't do the programming there's consequences conditional love right yeah I think it's important to also like being so young right just having turned 20 two months ago there's this pressure that your 20s are the best years of your life you're young you should be having fun you should be figuring out what you want to do with your life and when you don't feel like that when you feel like oh this this is hard there's it's not just Sparkles and and glitter and unicorns and rainbows like you got to actually live and you're an adult now and and feeling that pressure of like well why isn't this the best thing I've ever experienced can also be that well if I'm not enjoying this what do I enjoy what do I want this time of my life to look like and re-framing that to make it what's best for you and I think that comes at any stage of life but especially entering adulthood there's so much pressure of you know don't be lazy don't be you know complacent don't just do you know whatever like you need to focus you need to be working towards something and I think that that pressure is kind of being flipped to well if I'm working towards something that I want to work towards why does it matter whether or not you think it's productive why does it matter if it's not what you did and flipping that story-line to instead of just following the book and following what's expected to following your heart and following what what's going to make you happy at the end of the day yeah well and for those of you who don't know Sammy's our daughter and I'm gonna voice probably an opinion that hasn't been voiced by very many parents I was super proud of her for dropping out of college oh yeah not because of Any of my beliefs around college but because most people once they start down a path they well you know I'm this far in I can't turn back now right it's the the poker the poker analogy is well I'm I'm pop committed now I got to keep betting to to hopefully Bluff my way into a win and that is a broken model right so if College was for you and you kept going I'd have been proud of you for completing it but when you find out something's not for you the courage it takes to say oh I'm going to cut my losses and and it's not even a loss it's like I'm going to take the lessons I've learned and I'm going to change directions in a way that feels like to most people a loss right but the lessons the lessons are there there something was gained from that experience so it doesn't have to be this negative light and it's the proud moment for me is that you had the awareness to seek your your happiness over the Decades of programming and I was a part of the programming maybe I wasn't the main driver behind go to college and whatever but you know I was a part of it and and in even looking at it from that perspective I'm proud of you for rejecting it for what serves you more personally at least that you believe will serve you more personally now yeah I don't regret in the slightest the decision to go to college like my experiences in the year and a half that I was there there I grew so much I learned so much about myself and the world and how I want to live my life and I think that's such an important key of it too is that going down any path and deciding that it's no longer what you want to be on can feel also guilty or regretful for why did I waste this time this money this effort this whatever but if you in dead can sit and look at okay well what did I gain what did I learn there's a reason fate your decision whatever there's a reason that you went down that path and sometimes it's just to learn that you didn't want to go down that path but it's important to take that for good and not regret it because you can't undo it you can't get that time back you can only move forward and since letting go of what I felt was more of a decision I made because it was I felt expected of it rather than wanting it things have fallen into line for me the second I step out of oh this is what I should be doing this is what I feel like I should want to do instead into this is what I want to do this is what I feel like is best for me now things have lined up my thing my life has given me so many more opportunities that in the long run fit with what I see as what will make me happy and that might change again like you don't for very few people 20 years old is where you find out things that will make you happy till you're a hundred years old so I don't expect it to be the thing that I'll do for the rest of my life but there's more of that longevity that I can see in it and these opportunities would have never happened if I had forced myself into a box that I just didn't fit in anymore and just because that box fits somebody else doesn't mean it's your box right right and I I think we as parents sometimes you know Force our will onto kids and saying this is what you need to do and it's it comes from a place of well-meaning right it's not because you want your kids to suffer this is what worked for me so you need to do it this way because it's what works instead of hey here's an option right it worked for me you can try it out if you want you know there there there's ways and and the really watch out situation for parents is did it really work are you really happy with everything that's going on in your life and if you're not do you want to impose that on your children right maybe in their exploration they'll find something you never even thought possible or could imagine and it could change both your lives like don't limit our don't limit your children because of your limited beliefs and that's what we do as parents from the day our kids are born yeah just like no two people can fit in the same exact life right everybody's lives are different from various you know reasons or perspectives but it's the same thing within families it's the same thing parent to child or whatever no two lives can look exactly the same and I think that's important too of like understanding just because a certain lifestyle or a certain belief system has been modeled to you for your whole life doesn't mean that it's yours doesn't mean that it's what's going to fit you best or what works best for you and it doesn't mean that it's bad it doesn't mean that you have to find something new but I think it's important to go through life and question and challenge those expectations and those beliefs and those boxes that we try to fit in and maybe find out that Yep this is where I this is what I believe this is whatever and it works for you or figure out that it doesn't and find something that's going to fit better but trying to find what works for you and what you want and what you believe is so important because you don't want to get down the road and have even more time lost to something that you ultimately don't want or don't love being part of your life life's not worth living if you're not enjoying it right well sometimes you have to find out what doesn't work before you'll find out what works you know Don Miguel Ruiz talks about that if you want deeper love first you have to experience what love isn't right and then once you figure out what isn't then what is becomes more clearer yeah it's trial and error life is just trial and error like it's just a long game of maybe you know like a lot of what ifs but yeah it's just trying something new and and being honest with yourself and for me I felt like that was a big key in it is being honest with myself of what do I want in life and what what do I want to do with my time and effort right like if we only have so many hours in the day but we also only have so much effort each day what do I want that to go towards and I quickly realized that it wasn't the path was on and I fully intend to go back to school in some capacity it just wasn't that capacity and I think that's the other thing too is that there's no one way to get to the same point Like There's No One path that's perfect or one way to do something that's going to end in the perfect results like there's so many different ways to get to the same point it's about what works for you and what is going to get you there in a way that's best for you not everybody's looks the same well and the most effective way to allow yourself to make those changes and and and evaluate your life is to allow those around you to right if you look at people around you and you judge them for changing direction or doing things differently like then you're not going to give yourself permission to do it so allow everybody to flow with life allow everybody to make changes and we never know when somebody's going to wake up to that something that makes them unhappy you we walk through life so many of us half asleep that event if something grabs your attention oh I don't like that I want to move away from that well it might be something you've been doing for 20 years you know and then you go oh I'm G to move away from that and what do we like to call it in our world oh they're having a midlife crisis let's all judge them because they want to do something different or go have fun maybe we should quit judging that as a negative thing and start saying like you had your midlife crisis at 20 instead of spending 20 years in a career or a job path that you didn't enjoy and then waking up and going I don't like this what do I want to do now that I'll enjoy more you know that's why we have these midlife crisises because we don't give ourselves permission to pursue our own happiness early that's why it's such a proud moment for me to see you drop out of college because you are beginning to do something that most people are lucky to get to before they die you are starting to do it with your whole life ahead of you right and that's the thing I think that they're there feels this societal pressure like I said to have it all figured out at 20 and also enjoy being young right there's this kind of double standard of you should be having fun you're so young you only get this time in your life once but also you should have everything figured out and you should be working towards something and I think that stepping out of that pressure and just okay what works for me right now and how do I live what's best for me right now which I think you can have both but I also think you can have both the play and work at every stage of life and embracing that embracing those two aspects now for me is setting myself up for success is okay how do I figure out how to enjoy life and also be successful in a way that's meaningful to me now so that like you said in 20 years from now I'm not figuring it out again but there's also no shame in that there is like you said we shouldn't be judging the people around us because for me it wasn't oh in the span of four or five months months I figured out this wasn't really what I wanted to do it was like two weeks like it was from me fast yeah it it went from me being like I don't know that I want to be in school right now to I don't even know that I want to be here in because I was in Arizona so it's like I don't even know that I want to still be doing this right here and so that once it happens it happens so fast that for the people around you it can feel very like what is going on what is happening this isn't Whirlwind right and so embracing that not only in yourself but allowing other people to do that is so important because there shouldn't be shame around it there should be joy around it like people finding what they're supposed to be doing at any stage of life is awesome and it should be celebrated not shamed and rejected because it's important people should be doing what they love not forcing themselves into a job or a relationship or a location that is just what they've been told or what they feel like they should want yeah yeah what came up for me when you were talking about the opposing messages you get is you're hearing you're hearing two voices from the same adult you're hearing the beliefs that were passed on to them from their parents which is as a parent you're like I want you to get your life figured out that's a pressure we're putting on you we're projecting because if you don't get your life figured out we're going to feel like we failed as a parent so you need to have your life all figured out then their inner child goes but have fun because I didn't do enough of that when I was in my 20s I was too worried about getting my [ __ ] together because of the pressures from my parents so you're hearing their beliefs followed up by their inner child and not a young child it might be their inner 20-year-old but that's saying but but have fun because you only get to do this once but get your [ __ ] together and it's like that's why because you literally are hearing the voice of their parent and their true voice the voice of their inner child speaking and that's why it sounds like these diametrically opposed Concepts being thrown at you but from the perspective that you're sharing they don't have to be you can find the thing that you're going to love and brings you Joy that is also how you figure your out your life and get your [ __ ] together right it's only take me 44 years to get there and I just currently enjoy what I do right I mean I enjoy being a firefighter but I found that helping people get through their their mental block and their mental health issues is far more rewarding for me so I'm going to change gears yeah we're not Gonna judge you for changing gears if we're changing right that doesn't even make sense right right I think that's also why it's so important to step back and figure out why we're doing what we're doing right because for me specifically the reason I was on the path I was on was because of that generational pattern that generational cycle and deciding that that understanding that that's why I was doing what I was doing made it very clear to me that that's not what I wanted to be doing because also for me there's a lot of understanding that I want to break generational cycles and so for some people that works right they some people take over the family business that's been in their family for six generations and that's fine and that works for me breaking that generation cycle is important and addressing that is very important for me and my happiness and so understanding that that's why I was doing what I was doing made it very clear that that's not what I wanted to be doing and so like you said I think it is those two opposing voices and clearing those out and instead deciding okay what do I want right now what's important to me right now and it takes a lot of work to ignore societal pressures to ignore even familiar voices stepping out of those and into what makes you happy what you want is important at every stage of life because that's the only you're the only person living your life so it doesn't matter if everybody else says one thing if that's not working that's not working yeah and and whether you're the parent or the child in this scenario you had the advantage even of having one parent who didn't go to college like college was not a huge part of my path if you're a child of Two Doctors Two lawyers two very College oriented people the pressure is Mount and and as the parent in that situation if you truly want to give your child the freedom to become the best version of themselves that they can understand that if you and your spouse both have a similar sh like shared past of going to college that puts increasing pressure on your child so you're going to have to put in a extra effort to let them know that you are not going to be disappointed in them if they choose something different right and as the child understand that it's not as simple as it is choose your joy it's not always as easy as it sounds so well there's a place too that in the programming in instead of program programming your children to you should you know we could look at basketball and pivot pivoting on the court pivoting in life is a Mastery skill right and this for you was a big pivot yeah and then once you do the pivot you know once once you're at that point where you're like I'm out pivot time then comes the space where you need to find a soft place to land and you need to be able to be in a space where you feel protected and loved so that you can drop what we would call drop the human form you literally like you said what do I want what does my heart and soul crave at this time and in the toltec language we say that's dropping the human form you become energy and so these last couple of weeks it's just been how do you want to play Samantha and we've been playing yeah I think I think that's such an important thing too is recovery right like and not just in those moments of life in which you pivot or change trajectory but recovery in general and allowing yourself to step out of go go go and just be and do what you want and you know not have time like not be actively doing something but instead just be resting or you know instead of be instead of working on something that you feel is productive work on something that's fun work on something that's meaningless or whatever so that your brain and your body and everything can just kind of reset it's it's that it's a reset like start from the beginning try over like take two yeah and you know how hard that is because when you first came home that was not what you wanted to do yeah it's not instilled in me to not do anything I think right it's part of part of those beliefs that have been instilled in me for so long and also I think crossed into just my personality and who I am as a person but I'm a go go go like I I was working two jobs you know doing 50 hours a week on top of full-time College like I don't know chill and so to go from that to literally 3 months later doing nothing not working not doing school it's a full reset and challenging those beliefs about what it means to be productive and challenging those beliefs of what it means to be successful and and strong is important because it then like I said resets your beliefs and resets what you want and you can more clearly identify is this actually what I enjoy doing do I you know or or do I need to find something new do I need to re-evaluate My Lifestyle to better fit what I actually want and not just what I'm used to this is another way as parents like just awareness of as for the parents that are listening and those that will be parents one day this is another way that we pass on our beliefs unintentionally because we were taught to Value doing so then we value the things that our kids do so you got a lot of Praise like oh good job you did this oh good job you're working hard oh good job you're out there go getter-ing when was the last time as a parent you said hey good job for taking a day to just relax and recover and take care of you when was the last time you were told that as a parent I never said it to my kids that rest and Recovery is every bit as important as the doing and probably more so 'cuz when we do lean into truly resting and relaxation like we most of us say we do it but we never shut off our brain like we why didn't work today what did your brain do all day was your brain chasing all the little loose ends that were dingling around are you really unhooking so when you really rest and relax that's when these moments of clarity have a chance to come in we don't have to be broken down and sick for months but that's where we get to because we don't stop we don't stop and truly rest and relax into the silence to hear what's there for us so when we push through push through push through because we've been taught that that's where our value is we are valued because we're praised when we do so we want more praise because it feels good right so we do more and then when we start feeling sick we start feeling like well I can't get sick because if I stop doing I'm going to stop I'm going to lose my value we start connecting our personal worth with our ability to achieve and I'm here to tell you you are worthy because you are not because of what you do or could do because you exist you are worthy you are worthy of love and praise and all the things that will make your heart Happy inadvertently we almost in all of us have been programmed that value comes with doing and it's just not true the doing is a fun byproduct of living life but when we truly rest we truly relax we can avoid all the pain of hitting rock bottom before we make these shifts and you can help your children avoid that by starting to be aware of the fact that you are passing along unintentional values things you didn't even realize that you were valuing because you yourself probably bust your butt all the time and ask yourself why as a parent as the kid why do you bust your butt all the time if it brings you Joy keep busting but if it brings you stress and anxiety and sickness why you allowing your body to go through that and that misalignment and I think that was part of one of your big red lights eventually was that Holy my body does not like this because I'm sick all the time okay so if I really truly check in with myself what is my body telling me Oh my body doesn't want to be here my body doesn't like this yeah it there is no better reality check than a doctor looking you in your eyes and saying you should not be able to be functioning right now like that for me was kind of the turning point and I think to add too to what you said of being praised for doing I think we often are punished for quitting and that for me felt more severe than protecting my mental health quitting whether it be a job or school or whatever felt more punishable for me than protecting my mental health or than getting to the point where I was literally bedridden for weeks because of how sick I was like I am a College Dropout I quit and it's the best thing I've ever done for my mental health and that is the first big thing in my life that I've ever quit because it's so taught and so pushed that once you start something you finish it you don't drop out you don't quit you don't walk away and sometimes that's the best thing you can do for yourself sometimes it is important

thousand yards that way through the mud because nobody likes a quitter and I'm going to stay in these ruts because now they're comfortable and I know this level of suffering I know how to navigate this level of suffering because I've mastered it well good for you now let's see if you can Master a healthier lifestyle right there's no reward there's no trophy there's no gold medal for mastering suffering yeah there isn't and like I said there's no there's no point in going through life doing everything that you don't like or doing you know anything that you don't like there's not everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows but there's no point in suffering there's no point in forcing yourself into a box that you don't enjoy I love I love what you just said about there's no gold medal in suffering right however a lot of people use their suffering to get attention yeah or they create suffering so that they have to be seen right it it becomes an addiction yeah for sure and I think that that's why it's so important to quit to walk away to close the book when you realize that it's not what you want anymore that you're not happy where you're at because it does it gets very cyclical to I know this I'm comfortable in this I'll just keep doing it but that's not healthy that's not productive and it's not a life that's worth living you can be happy there is something for everybody that's going to lead to happiness and it's worth putting the work into find it's worth breaking stereotypes to find and that I think is the most important thing that I have learned is that it's worth if you're gonna put work into something put work into finding what's going to make you happy find your joy right like I love to say on the other side of fear is freedom when you turn and face your fears the fear of being of of quitting and what was going to the backlash when you turn and face it you find this freeing lightweight Freedom that you realize oh it wasn't so bad it wasn't all the things all the stories that our brain makes up to be that these that causes the fear so fear is not a thing to run from thing fear is a thing to cause curiosity and that requires bravery so be brave be curious and freedom and joy and a life more amazing than you can even currently fathom is is on the other side of that and it's been amazing to witness and hold space for your journey because that was a very very very brave thing you did and we are very proud of you so much I am so beyond great F to have a support system that I can fall back on and I am very aware that many people my age don't have that level of secure support and unconditional support so if anything I'm grateful for that and the lesson that that has led to well we are so happy that you came to play with us today and I think we'll be doing some more oh you know it thanks love we'll chat soon all right love you all my love

you thank you for sharing your time and energy with us the best way to help us spread this message is to rate review And subscribe if this episode impacted you in any way share it with others post about it on social media or put something in the comments also check out our website for upcoming events and books at www.rohrerrevolution.com all our gratitude and love all our love see you

soon

Re-Writing Story-lines With Samantha Rohrer - Bytes of Light

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